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Destroy All Humans!

Whenever those pesky aliens assault humans, the pitiful Earthlings always end up on top. Games like Half-Life 2 or Halo always have the technologically superior aliens defeated. Finally, Destroy All Humans is showing conquest through the invader’s bulgy eyes. Playing as Crypto, it’s your job to infiltrate Earth while harvesting brain stems. Let the harvest begin.

Combine the massive environments or Grand Theft Auto with the camp of an Ed Wood movie and you get the basic gist of Destroy All Humans. There’s a decidedly retro sci-fi look to everything from Crypto’s enormous head to the WWII-era soldiers that stand in your way. There also promises to be many popular sci-fi references, so one can only hope that Invasion of the Body Snatchers and Attack of the 50 Foot Woman get their due.

Anyways, there are hillbillies with rifles, CIA-types, everyday civilians and other different kinds of humans to harass. Although Crypto looks weak due to his frail body and enormous head, his brain proves to be his most powerful weapon. He can read minds, hypnotize his prey, but his most entertaining power is telekinesis. Launching large objects at people was a blast in Half-Life 2, and it looks to remain a joy in Destroy All Humans whether you’re dropping a car on someone or simply lifting up some ape-evolved human and hurling them into a wall.

Of course, Crypto can obtain some actual weapons as well. Forget about M-16s and sniper rifles because the weapons here make those look like toys. Weapons like the Disintegrator Ray and Zap-O-Ray are a bit more original than what the Earthlings are equipped with. The most *ahem* interesting weapon announced is the Anal Probe, but I’d rather not go into specifics about that. Hopefully you all understand.

Of course, no game with massive environments would be complete without a vehicle to zip around in, and that’s where the flying saucer comes in. Sleek and silver like all flying saucers should be, the space ship looks to make things even more difficult for Earthling defenses. Not only can humans be abducted, but their buildings can be completely obliterated with the Death Ray, Sonic Boom, and other weapons of mass destruction. The Army may think they have you quarantined with a road block, but just hop into the space ship and destroy their pitiful vehicles to show them a real close encounter of the third kind.

When a game uses the ideas set forth by Grand Theft Auto certain things are expected. Will the game not be buggy? Will the missions be any fun? Are there plenty of secrets and sidequests? Unfortunately only time will be able to answer these questions.

Despite some uncertainties, Destroy All Humans looks be an enjoyable, campy game. The sense of humor is definitely there, and the unique gameplay certainly looks promising. Taking control of an alien and trying to conquer Earth is a great chance of pace from defending that overrated rock so many times. Look for the review shortly to find out how things turned out or if you simply want more Anal Probe coverage.

The author of this fine article

is a Senior Staff Writer at Thunderbolt, having joined in February 2003. Get in touch on Twitter @akarge.

Gentle persuasion

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