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Shoot from the Lip: Where’s my game?

The next generation is upon us, then. Project Gotham 3 is immensely fun; Oblivion has been mashed and mauled yet we’re still nowhere near the ending; Top Spin 2 has been a worthy distraction; Ghost Recon has a second chapter to freshen things up and whilst still a blast to play, Battlefield 2 still has patchy mic support.

So it’s great, all this Live play and wireless controllers, hard drives, downloadable demos and videos. But what about the retro?

It’s all gone Pete Tong

Let’s cut to the chase; it’s going to take a while to configure Xbox games, we know that, but why the hell is the likes of Bad Boys 2, Big Mutha Truckers and State of Emergency doing above such wanted and treasured games as Pirates, Chronicles of Riddick and Rallisport Challenge 2? Hell, even the first Rallisport has made it ahead of the superior sequel!

What list are these guys working from? You can’t honestly say that all three of the aforementioned tripe outsold any one of Rallisport, Riddick and Pirates. The latter was cancelled off the release list, presumably because it wasn’t held in such high regard, but Bad Boys 2? Come on!

Let alone the Xbox games – when the hell will we to see Street Fighter 2 on the arcade section? We’ve had it dangled in front of our faces like a huge, fat juicy carrot for months on end now, and still there’s nothing to download except for over priced gamer pictures. Oh no, give us bloody Uno instead; poker for 5 year olds is that.

Pint of Strongbow and a packet of crisps, love

Whilst the market is on a downer, like every summer, and there’s no 360 games to be released until September, surely Xbox Live should remain the lush and exciting portal we were all promised, a safe-haven with girls in hula skirts serving chilled cocktails whilst non-gamers and fanboys wilt away outside in the heat and have nothing to do in the drought of releases? Shove any old crap on there, and we’ll all download it. Put a webcam to Bill Gates’s back lawn, old shows of Gamesmaster with Dominik Diamond, online magazines we can view in the picture section of our hard drives, interviews with developers and publishers. Anything, please, we can’t stand this drought no longer!

The author of this fine article

is a Senior Staff Writer at Thunderbolt, having joined in June 2002.

Gentle persuasion

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