You’ve been waiting for this. It feels like a century since you walked into a gaming store and preordered what could be the greatest game to ever grace the Wii. And today, it’s finally in your grasp. You reach into the shopping bag and yank out the prized game case, taking a moment to gaze upon its splendor as your grip it in your whitening knuckles. You greedily tear at the plastic wrap woven around the case, practically itching to take out the disc within. After a few breathless seconds, you finally get the thing open, and slide your new game into the Wii’s insert slot. And as you grip your WiiMote in fervent anticipation, you likely won’t even notice what else your beloved console has to offer besides the games it can play.
What, you didn’t know? The Wii comes equipped for a few extras to tide you over between sessions in Super Paper Mario and that dreaded dungeon in Twilight Princess. Should you decide to take a break from hacking, slashing, or whatever else you happen to be doing with the controller, you can take a moment to browse the Wii Channels. As the name implies, each menu option is designed to mimic a television broadcast; the majority of the browsing involves pointing the WiiMote at the screen, highlighting whatever options appear, and reading accordingly. Such a simple, user-friendly interface makes browsing Nintendo’s makeshift TV a breeze under most circumstances.
The channels being useful and interesting, on the other hand, are a different matter.
The Mii Channel is a prime example of what Nintendo’s goal for its console: creating something that can appeal to any user, regardless of age or any other characteristic. In this well-crafted menu, you’ll be granted the power to create a Mii, an avatar that can be made to look like a caricature of anyone you choose. Want to make a your own little Cal Ripkin Jr. for your next game of baseball in Wii Sports? Use the WiiMote to select the proper height and width of the body, the shape of the head, eyes, mouth, and other facial features, and a handful colors for the clothes. After you’ve completed this composite sketch-styled avatar, it’ll be dropped into a giant plaza. In this video game version of purgatory, the Miis will be forced to mill about, awaiting your commands for them to line up according to their gender and color, or waiting for yet another one of their malformed brethren to arrive via an online connection. Needless to say, the novelty of the Mii Channel wears off quickly.
Should you want something a little more relevant to your surroundings, the Forecast Channel allows you to view the current weather conditions around the planet. In fact, you can get a five-day forecast if you want to plan the upcoming week. Should you enter the Globe Menu, you’ll be presented with a spherical map depicting the weather in various cities in several countries. Using the WiiMote, you can drag the map around until you find a desired country, then zoom in or out to view the entire landmass or a select few cities. The problem is that the Forecast Channel offers only the weather for major cities, such as San Francisco, Kyoto, and Cape Town. If you happen to be living in a smaller town with a more diverse climate, chances are that you won’t be getting an accurate forecast. Besides, you have access to a television and an Internet connection; using one of these will prove far more helpful.
The same can be said about the News Channel. This up-to-the-minute menu features the highlights of various news reports from around the world. Upon entering the channel, you’ll get to choose amongst a handful of topics. If the latest in American politics is your kind of thing, the National News provides a nice selection of current issues. The International News features articles about diplomatic relations between countries (obviously) and whatever controversies that happen to be most important. Such designs follow throughout the rest of the channel, including features for sports, entertainment, business, science, and technology. Despite such a varied presentation, the News Channel is redundant; you have access to the news channels on your television, and an Internet connection that can provide information you need on a subject that may not be covered on the News Channel. Perhaps a scrolling ticker could have helped.
Speaking of useless, the Everybody Votes Channel isn’t compelling either. In this dual-choice survey, you’ll be able to answer a slew of questions that get changed whenever Nintendo feels like updating. In order to maintain the family-friendly, non-politically charged atmosphere of the Wii, you won’t be asked to vote on anything controversial like the death penalty or presidential approval ratings. Instead, you’ll get to answer things like “Which American Idol contestant will go the furthest?” or “How do you feel about your name?” In order to respond to such grilling questions, you’ll have to use the WiiMote to pick up one of your Mii avatars and drop it onto the corresponding section. You can even predict how the rest of the Wii-owning populace will answer as well. You’ll eventually get the results back, but you’ll probably be too bored with the Everybody Votes Channel to bother checking.
But wait! Not all of the Wii Channels are entirely useless; the Wii Shop Channel is well worth looking into. Within this humble little menu hides one of the Wii’s most celebrated features: The Virtual Console. This weekly updated catalog of older games features prominent titles from previous Nintendo, Sega, and TurboGrafx consoles. You’ll get to choose among classics like Splatterhouse and Comix Zone, revisit Star Fox 64 and Ocarina of Time, and have to dodge nostalgia-ridden flops like Altered Beast. The thing is, you have to pay for it; each game costs a certain number of Wii Points, which come in the form of charge cards at your local video game store. This can be both good and bad for a prospective consumer. Sega fans, for instance, may find it more cost effective to buy a Playstation 2 and a copy of Sega Genesis Collection to get their retro grooves on. The Virtual Console is indeed a great idea for younger gamers that haven’t experienced the greatness of the older titles, but seasoned gamers will have likely snagged most of these games at one point or another. Until the catalog is more fully fleshed out with a more varied selection, you may have to wait until you find that choice title you’ve been looking to play.
Thankfully, the Internet Channel is a bit more practical. This Opera-based web browser allows you to access your WiFi connection and explore the Internet on your TV. That’s right; you can visit message boards, view your email, and even look at…questionable pictures (don’t deny it, gentlemen). There are few things better than watching your favorite Youtube videos on your big screen TV (assuming the connection doesn’t freeze and force you to manually turn off the console). However, problems arise when you try to browse a given site; since the default perspective makes text look tiny, you’ll have to use the WiiMote to zoom in on a part that you want to view. Things get worse when you try to type something. After highlighting a given field or search bar, you’ll be automatically transferred to the Wii’s onscreen keyboard. You’ll have to hunt and peck each letter with the controller until you finally spell out whatever you’re looking for. Until Nintendo comes out with a keyboard attachment for the WiiMote, using the Internet Channel can be a tedious experience.
Assuming that you get a hang of the typing interface, you’ll be able to send messages to other Wii owners or to your friends’ email inboxes. Not only can you mail off basic texts, but you can include images as well. Such is the use of the Photo Channel; a place for you to store, organize, view, and posy the pictures you’ve collected. It doesn’t have to be strictly from email, either. If you have an SD memory card, you can stick it into one of the Wii’s slots and transfer photos from your digital camera or cell phone. You’ll even be able to modify an image’s colors and tone, scribble all over it, and even dice it up into a jigsaw puzzle minigame. With the ability to zoom in, scroll over, and slideshow all of your pictures, you’ll have your own little stash of images (wholesome or otherwise) stored on your console in no time.
So what exactly do the Wii Channels give us? There’s a not-so useful take on the weather and news. The trivial surveys won’t hold your attention for very long. Though the Virtual Console is far from a main selling point for the Wii, its ever-growing library of retro games will appeal to younger and older games alike (even if it can get fairly expensive). The Internet browser is a great idea, but the lack of a good typing interface can make your teeth grind. But hey, at least you’ll be able to amass your own private picture gallery on your Wii. They may not be able to replace the fun of a console game, but the channels have their own little quirks. Just don’t replace Nintendo’s TV with your own.
Comments
Joey Davidson on Monday 28th April 2008
I find that I actually use the weather channel quite a bit. Almost every time I turn on my system, in fact. The most useless channel on my Wii? The photo channel. I've never even booted it up.
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