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The Unanswered Questions of the Pokémon World

Wii, DS, GBA, N64 feature by Matt Wadleigh, published on Sunday 30th September 2007

Nintendo has been churning out Pokémon games for more than a decade now and the series hasn’t changed all that much. You’re still a gung-ho youngster setting out on a quest to be the greatest Pokémon master in the world. Along the way, you have to collect every Pokémon you see in the hopes of building a spectacular team that will allow you to defeat every other Pokémon master in the world. Yet, as formulaic and predictable as this series is, there are still a lot of unanswered questions that Nintendo really needs to address.

1. How do water Pokémon battle on land?

We’ve all been there. We’re walking through a cave, deep and dark, when a trainer challenges us to a battle. The screen flashes, we’re transported to a dry battle scene and he throws out – a Goldeen? This Goldeen then proceeds to kick our rock-type Pokémon’s ass as it flops around on a dry circle just beneath its fins. Where does the Goldeen get all that water? Perhaps it stores some inside, but after a while, that source must be exhausted. And, flipping this question around, how do rock-type Pokémon fight on water? Wouldn’t they sink?

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2. What kind of seedy Pokémon underworld exists?

The Pokémon world is nearly picturesque. Even though bad people exist like Team Rocket or Team Galactic, their antics are relatively tame and easily thwarted. However, we all know that somewhere out there, a Mafia-type organization is really running the show, using Pokémon of all variety to carry on their work. Are these Pokémon taken care of? If they misbehave or go to the police, do they get whacked? Are they starving? Does the Mafia run betting circuits, allowing people to gamble illegally on match ups?

And, most importantly, who out there is into Pokémon bestiality? You know one of those old people in those shacks you meet in the forest are totally into their Pokémon in more ways than one.

3. What’s it like inside a Pokéball?

A familiar technique amongst those desperate to “catch them all” is to throw a hard, plastic ball at an animal, which, upon contact, shrinks the Pokémon down and captures it inside of the ball. What happens to the Pokémon inside the ball? Is the inside of the ball illuminated, or do they sit in the dark? Do they get fed when they’re trapped in the ball? Does the shrinking reduce their size down to a level where they can comfortably roam within the ball, or are they cramped inside? Can the Pokéball be used to shrink other things, such as garbage or people? Imagine, planes filled with thousands of people stored in Pokéballs, it would save a great deal of fuel and allow for thousands of people to travel at once!

4. Do Pokémon rights organizations exist?

Let’s face it, capturing animals and forcing them to fight with one another for no good reason other than sport is a touchy subject. Just ask Michael Vick, star quarterback for the NFL’s Atlanta Falcons now turned prisoner for dog fighting. During his trial, thousands of people came out and protested the star, preaching that it was cruel to fight animals for sport and entertainment. Where are these people within the Pokémon world? Do these people exist? Is there anyone fighting for the rights of Pokémon? Are there any people who vandalize stores that sell Pokéball and other instruments of slavery and death?

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5. How do people feel about eating Pokémon?

Traveling through the Pokémon world, you’ll quickly notice that Pokémon are the only animals around. Which leads me to wonder, who’s eating Pokémon? Someone has to be. The whole of the Pokémon world can’t be vegan. Someone is out there eating exotic Pokémon for lunch. Businessmen sit down for fancy meals to discuss deals and mergers over plates of fried Charizard and fillet of Magikarp.

6. How do people feel about the use of performance-enhancing drugs?

You want your Pokémon to be stronger? You could battle…or you could just give him a piece of rare candy and force him to level up without the effort. With all of the recent controversy over performance enhancing drugs in American sports, is there anyone in the Pokémon world out there fighting to bar the use of items that make your Pokémon unnaturally stronger? Are people silently angry at me for feeding my Bidoof loads of X-Up? Or for giving my Luxio an EXP Share to level him up without him battling?

7. What kind of strange diseases do people get from living with Pokémon?

What do bird flu, mad cow, and foot and mouth disease have in common? These three highly feared diseases infect human beings when we live in close-quarters with our livestock. Do these kinds of diseases plague the Pokémon world? Has Ash Ketchum ever woken up with strange spots on his arms, a symptom of some strange disease he was infected with because he cuddled with Pikachu?

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Of course, there are hundreds of more questions out there that need to be addressed. The world of Pokémon is a complex one, full of life and character, but many aspects of that life and that character have been hidden from our eyes, allowed to slip through the cracks for far too long. If Nintendo wants to keep me interested, they are going to have to start exploring some of the darker corners of the Pokémon world and answering the questions that the world is dying to know.

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Comments

  • Anthony Karge

    wrote on Friday 11th April 2008

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    Great article and a fantastic picture of Michael Vick.

  • James Frazer

    wrote on Friday 11th April 2008

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    Hehe, nice one Matt. Really enjoyable read.

  • Dkat

    wrote on Thursday 8th May 2008

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    LOL dude funny good read

  • JS

    wrote on Sunday 1st June 2008

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    Quite interesting.

  • j

    wrote on Sunday 1st June 2008

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    too funny, just what i was looking forward to :)

  • Matt Wadleigh

    wrote on Sunday 1st June 2008

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    Thanks for the comments, guys. I'm glad you enjoyed it!

  • Internet Meme

    wrote on Monday 2nd June 2008

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    too funny…

  • Joshua Jabin

    wrote on Monday 2nd June 2008

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    Awesome. I've actually thought about some of these things in the past.

  • Schemilix

    wrote on Monday 2nd June 2008

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    Well. Number one is answered in… Well I watched part of ONE of the movies a while back, the pokemon were doing a show and they conjured balls of water to swim in.

    Number three is answered in sapphire: it describes the nature ball of having room to roam or something.

    The one about veganism though, I thought the same. XD

    Also, I don't think they do unless they want to. Charizard doesn't. Then again he's just stuffed back in his pokeball. XD

  • A

    wrote on Monday 2nd June 2008

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    And do pokemon defecate? How come we never see any form of waste in the pokemon world? Do they even have a mechanism for excretion (e.g. an anus)? Does their pokeball maybe have waste facilities? But that doesn't answer the question why wild animal poop is never found?

  • ShadowAtlan

    wrote on Monday 2nd June 2008

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    Just wondering, Where do pokeballs come from when you hatch a pokemon from an egg? Does one just randomly spawn?
    This led me to another assumption. All pokemon are born with pokeballs, and wild pokemon are caused by people breeding pokemon simply to sell their pokeballs, meaning that all pokeballs are stolen from baby pokemon. Have you seriously ever seen a Pokeball factory?

  • theRx

    wrote on Monday 2nd June 2008

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    Well, I remember one episode WAY back, after the sinking of the SS Anne and Ash, Brock, Misty and Team Rocket were stranded on a raft together. James had been conned into buying a 'rare' Magikarp, and everyone was fantasizing about the ways they could prepare it, which shows that Pokemon are used for food.

  • Sir Unimaginative

    wrote on Monday 2nd June 2008

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    It gets worse. Remember that substantial amounts of plants are pokemon as well.

    In fact, I'd conjecture that, with no animals around that aren't pokemon, humans in the Pokemon world are either a foreign (alien) species or pokemon themselves.

    (Granted, there may be a canon refutement of that, but I'd pay to see it try to make sense.)

  • rrrrr

    wrote on Monday 2nd June 2008

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    All I know is, if Pokemon were real, I'd be eating them all to find out the best tasting ones!

    I imagine Pikachu or Snorlax would be the best tasting. I mean, they're predominantly fat.

  • Sam Baker

    wrote on Monday 2nd June 2008

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    Biggest question. You leave a pokemon with a Ditto in the daycare, and you get an egg. Wait. Doesn't Ditto copy the other pokemon's form EXACTLY? Well then… that means… OHGOD!

  • Matt Wadleigh

    wrote on Tuesday 3rd June 2008

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    I'm loving these comments. Thanks guys, I'm really happy you're enjoying the article!

  • Daniel Jost

    wrote on Tuesday 3rd June 2008

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    This is a beautiful article. I've always wondered what's in a pokeball, I believe that Cartoon Network showed a Squirtle in paradise land or whatever while he was stuck in the ball.

  • estevan

    wrote on Tuesday 3rd June 2008

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    I remember this one episode when a pokemon was inside a pokeball and it was just like an empty spherical room with them sitting in the middle with nothing around them.

  • Lord Amazing

    wrote on Tuesday 3rd June 2008

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    Taken from the trophy description in Super Smash Brothers Brawl:

    "Pokemon live in these items which, despite appearances, actually contain a wide, comfortable, Pokemon friendly world inside them."

  • Matt Wadleigh

    wrote on Tuesday 3rd June 2008

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    In my defense, Lord Amazing, this article was published a few months before SSMB: Brawl was released. Maybe Nintendo read my article!

  • jeff

    wrote on Tuesday 3rd June 2008

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    and how the hell can land pokemon battle in the middle of the sea? like your riding along on the back of your pokemon and a trainer challenges you, does your pokemon also stand on the back of it?

  • jdandcoke

    wrote on Tuesday 3rd June 2008

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    If these are the problems running through your mind, then you really need to get laid!

  • Tre

    wrote on Tuesday 3rd June 2008

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    Well, In the first season of pokemon, James does look very curiously at a magikarp. There are also like five different times in the episode where james wants to eat a magikarp.

    But, all the time in the series, the characters sit down and eat meat. Im not sure where it comes from though!

    You forgot one question though, When playing through the games, You fight tons of pokemon in the wild and knock them out.

    SO WOULND'T THERE BE LIKE 5000 FAINTED POKEMON JUST LYING AROUND EVERYWHERE?!

  • Max

    wrote on Wednesday 4th June 2008

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    My question. How does one fly on the back of a pidgey. It can learn fly you know… or a taillow or any other bird pokemon for that matter.

  • Matt Wadleigh

    wrote on Wednesday 4th June 2008

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    I think it's ironic that a guy that searches for articles about Pokemon on the Internet is telling me that I need to get a girlfriend…

  • rob

    wrote on Wednesday 4th June 2008

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    Thank you SU! Great article. i love to think about the other side of pokemon, but sadly i always get strange looks when i start talking about what it would be like to eat a pokemon. I'll have a Medium-rare Miltank steak with a side of Oddish!

  • darvay

    wrote on Wednesday 4th June 2008

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    thought you guys might like this, its either from robot chicken or snl

    http://www.vidiLife.com/video_play_632287_inside_a_pokemon_ball.htm

  • Olly

    wrote on Wednesday 4th June 2008

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    Heh, I think the tastiest Pokemon surely has to be Taurus or Kangaskan. I'm sure they'd sell them at the local Viridian City Steakhouse!

  • zach

    wrote on Thursday 5th June 2008

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    if you were vegan could you eat plant type pokemon

  • Parkesy

    wrote on Thursday 5th June 2008

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    another question could be, that sometimes you will see certain trainer's pokemon come out of their pokeballs with out prompting by the trainers, so this means that pokemon have control of the pokeball.
    So why do newly caught pokemon, who obviously not going to like the trainer who beat the crap out of them and stuffed them in a little ball, stay in there and not come out and escape?

  • Pokeman

    wrote on Friday 6th June 2008

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    Wow. I… wow. I don't know the answers to any of those. I have wondered about the animal thing, because it says Pikachu is a Mouse pokemon… they don't know what mice are. Well, whatever, I want some Ursaring, medium rare pl0x. Ohh, can I have some Mime Jr. for dessert (he looks like candy, or ice cream, or something delicious)

  • Anthony Karge

    wrote on Friday 6th June 2008

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    Zach, that is certainly a good questions.

  • Mark

    wrote on Friday 6th June 2008

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    The last question in the article has been answered. There is a disease in the Pokemon words called Pokerus or something. It actually helps your pokemon and makes them grow.
    Other good questions though!

  • Bellsprout

    wrote on Friday 6th June 2008

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    In answer to BELLSPROUT Zach's question BELLSPROUT BELLSPROUT farmers use my leaves and sell them BELLSPROUT in salads that also BELLSPROUT contain the leaves of Oddishes and Bulbasaurs. BELLSPROUT BELLSPROUT It's alright though BELLSPROUT, my leaves grow back pretty BELLSPROUT quickly.

  • TUX

    wrote on Saturday 7th June 2008

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    I'm very sure that the inside of a pokeball is like an alternate reciprocal universe in which all of the trainers are evil, and team rocket is a force of good. Pokemon, however don't exist in both worlds at once, but instead travel through to the other side using the pokeball (which is a teleportation device not an actual ball). Comfort comes in this situation because the memories of the opposite universe are put on hold when a pokemon is in a given universe. Pikachu has a genetic disease though so his memories of the awful netherworld remain. (this is why he hates pokeballs)

    But maybe it was just something I ate.

  • POKUHMANS

    wrote on Sunday 8th June 2008

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    yeah how about what good mother would actually consent to letting her ten year old child roam the land homeless to hunt for wild animals and be attacked by other homeless people

  • byron

    wrote on Monday 9th June 2008

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    if you played pokemon yellow you'd know that slowpoke's are hunted for their tails so people can eat them.

  • t

    wrote on Wednesday 11th June 2008

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    Ha! I cracked up loud and couldn;t stop laughing about the question of beasiality of people and pokemon. Why do you think Ash and Pikachu are so close and bonded? I 'm not makin any assumptions, just speculating on a presented question. Howz dat Misty chick think she gets it on with others on a regular basis? Lets face it, its not to clear just how she and her 'partners' actually survive with out a job.

  • Matt Wadleigh

    wrote on Wednesday 11th June 2008

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    POKUHMANS, I actually meant to include that in my original article, but I forgot before I published it. These questions came to me sort of at random and I didn't have a notepad to write them down. But good observation.

  • nate

    wrote on Sunday 15th June 2008

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    in the series the people were seen most often eating "normal" fish. and every so often you would see a "normal" rodent or birds. they seemed to be just background or filler. but they were there. prehaps this is what they eat?

    as for the pokeball, i always liked to believe that they were suspended in time, kinda like being temporarily frozen. no wonder pikachu hates his pokeball lol

  • Cal

    wrote on Monday 16th June 2008

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    Actually, in the show and game it is established people are not against eating certain pokemon.

    Farfetch'd is known to be a delicacy.

  • poke god

    wrote on Wednesday 18th June 2008

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    there is one episode were it shows psyduck in his pokeball and he is just much smaller and standing in the pokeball but he is still moving and everything just smaller and i dont know if it only works for pokemon ??? but i think the episode was the one where they were making that pokemon movie and psyduck was the main character

  • Madison

    wrote on Thursday 19th June 2008

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    You suck.
    NINTENDO doesn't have to keep you
    interested while the rest of the world
    likes Poke'mon how it is. You really
    want everything to revolve around you.
    And NO. That picture is fake. Ash nor
    anyone else has gotten a disease from Poke'mon you fool.

  • Matt Wadleigh

    wrote on Friday 20th June 2008

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    Hahahaha. Thanks boss, you clearly missed the boat. How long have you lived under powerlines, if you don't mind me asking?

  • Observer

    wrote on Sunday 22nd June 2008

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    Um, why is everyone overreacting to this? It's called SATIRE, dotards.

  • Ashley

    wrote on Friday 18th July 2008

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    Pokemon is fun thing to come out since tenchi myuo! it leaves you guessing about what going on. especially the show gotting more more fun. this thing cannot stuck as most think it does.

  • Sam

    wrote on Tuesday 22nd July 2008

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    I agree. The dimond and pearl is all goody 2-shoes. I want team rocket to win at least once!

  • Wendell

    wrote on Wednesday 23rd July 2008

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    Those questions can't be answered because it's a kid's show/game. The kids' parents would want to have the show taken out if any of them would be answered. CAN'T ANY OF YOU USE YOUR COMMON SENSE?

  • no name

    wrote on Tuesday 5th August 2008

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    When I was a little kid I used to watch the show on occasion. I remember the guy threw a pokeball at some pokemon and it threw a riceball back at him. The ball caught the riceball and when he opened it there was a riceball inside. It didn't come out with the magical red beam, just popped open. You can't catch someone else's pokemon either. How does that work? Wireless id network? Heres some more questions:

    -How come Ash is still a little kid? I grew up and hes still a little kid. Not even puberty? Come on now!
    -Why don't criminals use guns? They spend millions of dollars on elaborate bullshit that never works. Why don't they just buy a gun. Guns are the great equalizers. Fuck a fighting electric rat.
    -Given how many battles Pikachu has been through, shouldn't it be level 99 yet? At 99 my pikachu could have destroyed anything.
    -How do these trainers survive on their own for so long? How can they afford it, they have no income. Trainers are just glorified transients.
    -How can pokemon understand people and people can't understand pokemon?
    -Why doesn't shit like this happen> Ash: Charizard I choose you! Charizard: Nom Nom Nom (lunch)
    -Season 1: This pokemon is so god damn rare! Season 3: Same pokemon is everywhere.
    -What kind of parent lets their children leave home to become an animal trainer when they are like 12?
    -Why are people so friendly? In reality people hate you.
    -Who pays the bills for the pokemon center?
    -Lets hold this radioactive rock next to my pokemon and make them turn into something else!

    so many questions

  • Pokefan

    wrote on Thursday 25th September 2008

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    You sir are a noob >:(. Your question is: Why doesn't team rocket useguns? My answer is: Pokemon are bullet-proof noobcake! Your Question is: How does the pokemon center pay the bills? My answer is: How do libraries get money? Through the government noob!
    -to no name

  • noname

    wrote on Saturday 27th September 2008

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    This post sucks along with it's creator.
    It's for little kids and even if they are making it all SUPER kidish, that doesn't give u a right to demolish it fro nothing in return but hatred comments or comments full of hatred toward people who agree with u, u ugly smuck sir.

  • Hom

    wrote on Saturday 27th September 2008

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    It's probably worth noting that this article is entirely tongue-in-cheek and probably shouldn't be taken seriously.

  • Matt Wadleigh

    wrote on Sunday 28th September 2008

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    It's interesting how confident individuals are when they believe that they're posting with anonymity. What's the weather like in Georgia this time of year, noname?

  • Tyler

    wrote on Sunday 16th November 2008

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    why does ash has spots?

  • Matt Wadleigh

    wrote on Monday 17th November 2008

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    Because Ash has a disease he caught from being too personal with Pikachu.

  • ahah

    wrote on Tuesday 18th November 2008

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    Its called thinking too much into it.

    There are thousands of kids shows with plot holes. Pokemon is just popular enough that people care about it.

  • Matt Wadleigh

    wrote on Tuesday 18th November 2008

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    I'm aware that I'm thinking too deeply into it. That's the entire point of the article. See: satire.

  • Cassette

    wrote on Monday 1st December 2008

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    http://li-zhang.net/pokemon.html

    This should answer any and all questions.

  • thejigoku

    wrote on Sunday 1st March 2009

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    LOL love it. Have to ask my son some q about this his into this.

  • Francesca

    wrote on Sunday 1st March 2009

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    lol. I have one: when the throw pokeballs, where do they go?

  • masterlobo

    wrote on Tuesday 3rd March 2009

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    what about the pokeball GS?
    it was never revealed was it?

  • Cathy

    wrote on Tuesday 3rd March 2009

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    What about all those Pokemon in the wild? On the TV show, we’ve seen smaller types being threatened by larger types, but we’ve never seen a dead carcass being eaten (wouldn’t that be a horrifying scene!).

    However, in the original Pokemon handbook, it says that “Pidgeot fly on the surface of the water at top speed to catch unsuspecting Fish element prey like Magikarp,” that Tentacruel hunt, and that Kabutops “cuts and drains its enemy’s body with its sharp claws.”

    Oh dear. I wonder if it is considered cannibalism if a Gyrados eats a Magikarp?

  • Ilia

    wrote on Tuesday 3rd March 2009

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    You picked a silly topic to write about, but you are so smart you turned it into a masterpiece :)

  • oliver

    wrote on Tuesday 3rd March 2009

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    Yea, and how are Pokémon like.. magic? I mean, when there are laws of physics and all then how are they just.. magic?

    Wait… Could it be because Pokémon reside in a magic, made-up world based on a tv-show designed for children to watch? Oh yea, right. That’s it. You know, you almost forget, but that’s it exactly. Children.

  • Rageage

    wrote on Wednesday 4th March 2009

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    Ha, wow. i really want to see a game with some of that stuff in it. a T/M rated pokemon game. The one i think would be the most fun to play around with would be the mob

  • Bob

    wrote on Thursday 5th March 2009

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    actually, Farfetch’d I’m pretty sure was rare in RBY b/c it was eaten as a delicacy…
    oh, and inside the ball…
    http://www.craveonline.com/videos/filmtv/00005714/robot_chicken__pokeball.html

    shouldn’t there be more people in the cities and such? at most in each city there are, like, 20 people. and do they ever move?

  • ICECrush

    wrote on Monday 9th March 2009

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    HAHA this is sooo funny!
    Thank you!

  • jyamato

    wrote on Monday 9th March 2009

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    Is no one questioning why people never seem to age, there are no actual hospitals, and why 12 year old boys are sent into the wilderness with literally just the clothes on their backs and the riceballs (or “sandwich” if you like 4kids dubs) in their backpacks?

  • h1dd3n c0w

    wrote on Monday 23rd March 2009

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    We all know that pokemon are creatures of power and capabilities that could rival any bit of technological weaponry we humans could ever devise. Yet war has never been a huge subject in in the pokemon universe. Certainly with creatures of such power bent to our wills with small plastic balls, any nation in their universe could easily form colonial conquest campaigns using pokemon as the ultimate form of weaponry with moves like Hyper Beam which could easily out-match our modern tanks. Has there been a Poke’Hitler yet? Or a Poke’bin Laden?

  • Pichu

    wrote on Saturday 4th April 2009

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    Pttb, humans are to selfish to stand up for pokemon rights.

    Yeah, there are freaks out there who eat us. And yeah, there are those out there who pit us against each other.

    And yes. We plan on standing up for our rights. One day, we will take back what is ours.

  • Mudkip

    wrote on Monday 20th April 2009

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    LOL Eating pokemon… I rather eat berrys my whole life then eat a freind or a defenceless pokemon! That might be SICK! Or rather I will be sick…

  • antoine liles

    wrote on Saturday 27th June 2009

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    wow thats so funny,but true!

  • Sandman

    wrote on Saturday 26th September 2009

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    As far as the question about what do people eat the answer is Taurus. Think about it in the racing episode with Rapidash why else would they be herding large numbers of them like the cattle they are based off of. Also have you ever seen someone In the TV series fight with one cause I haven’t.

    Also for all intents and purposes team rocket was a Mafia led by Giovanni. He was constantly trying to Capture/steal as many Pokemon that he could. And tame I think not with Mewtwo he was probably going to try to take over the world if it wasn’t for ashes message of Love and Compassion and Mewtwo kicking the ass of all of his scientist.

  • Seth

    wrote on Friday 27th November 2009

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    What about diseases from having sex with Pokemon?

  • word

    wrote on Thursday 3rd December 2009

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    these are good questions. if you watch the series some of them will be answered but questions will emerge. i would love to know why all the pokemon say there name and that only in the cartoon and how other pokemon know what in the hell the others are saying. if i ran around yelling my name im pretty sure people wouldent understand me lol =]

  • Daniel

    wrote on Monday 18th January 2010

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    I may be late in reading this but my God it was awesome. Seriously, this was a fantastic article.

    Is it weird though that I thought eating Pokemon was bad but I’ll happily eat animals lol? I think it’s because Pokemon retains it’s innocence from my childhood.

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