For the staff at Thunderbolt, reviewing isn’t just a job; it’s something we enjoy doing. We get to play all sort of games that we wouldn’t normally get to, including some brilliant examples of game design and others which are just, well, we’ll let the scores tell the story. But sometimes the best games to review are the very worst ones. There’s nothing more frustrating than writing about a bland and average game with no distinguishing features. The most substandard games often yield the most amusing reviews, so with that in mind, we present a selection of the very worst games we’ve ever reviewed.
Big Rigs: Over the Road Racing
Reviewed in March 2004, scoring one out of ten.
Big Rigs is probably the ultimate in bad games. So shockingly inept at everything it does, it’s quickly become infamous and is widely regarded as one of the worst games ever created. Videogames this bad are hard to come by and the interest in such a atrociousness is palpable; Big Rigs is one of our most popular reviews on Thunderbolt.
"Big Rigs: Over the Road Racing is honestly one of the worst games in all of history, for a variety of reasons that make themselves clear from the moment the game is started."
"If you hate someone, and I mean HATE someone, give them this game as a gift, in the hopes that they’ll play it, because that way you can say to them, "haha, you’re an idiot who plays Big Rigs!"
Perfect Ace: Pro Tournament Tennis
Reviewed in July 2003, scoring three out of ten.
To be honest, I’m not sure why I gave Perfect Ace such a high score. Three out of ten is maybe an undue compliment to a game which is dire in every respect. It’s not really a game that’s ever going to be heard of or stand out, but it does win the prestigious award of “Most Grammatical and Typographical Errors on Boxart”.
"The 'blurb' contains no less than 9 typos and grammatical errors, including "its very wide", "The worlds" and "The Volley". Shocking. Written quite clearly on the rear of the box is, "Recommended Specification: Processor Intel Pentium III or AMD 19hz". On this guidance, I thought of installing Perfect Ace on my 30hz calculator, but alas, it has no CD drive. Surely someone proof read their work? Or maybe they were too busy doing the rest of the game before the deadline."
Will Rock
Reviewed in July 2005, scoring two out of ten.
First person shooters are prime territory for rubbish games and Will Rock is a perfect example of what happens when you take all of the excitement out of the genre. If you thought Serious Sam was bad, you haven't seen anything yet!
"Will Rock is just like Serious Sam. This is a bad thing.
It’s fortunate though that the developers realized that no one would care about the story and kept the storytelling to a very minimal level."
Gorky Zero: Beyond Honor
Reviewed in July 2004, scoring two out of ten.
Cheap knockoffs of more popular games don't come much more obvious than Gorky Zero. What it didn't pinch from Splinter Cell it did badly and what it did wasn't reproduced well either. Poor for even a copycat budget game, it got the score it deserved.
"These days gamers can smell bullsh*t from a mile off and it comes as no surprise that Gorky Zero doesn't live up to its cover's promises."
"What annoys me most about Gorky Zero is that although it's crap, it's not amusingly so. Some games are so dire that you find yourself laughing before you shred their shiny disks, but this is so generic and uninspiring that it's frustrating."
Driv3r
Reviewed in April 2005, scoring three out of ten.
With scores ranging from 10% to 90%, Driv3r went down as one of the most controversial games on the PS2 when it was released, getting both glowing and hgihly critical reviews. It was meant to be so good, but in the end it couldn't have been any different. Nine months went by and the PC version appeared, yet this was even worse than the original console games. Never fixed, it remains as one of the most high profile games to be released without being tested at all or even finished.
"In nine months, you could sail around the world solo nearly four times. In the same time, you could circumnavigate the globe on commercial flights 150 times. In nine months, you could fix Driv3r.
Driv3r is still broken, unfinished and rotten to the core. What's most aggravating is that it could be a good game, but Atari and Reflections have done such a bad job of executing the concept that its potential pails into insignificance."
NFL Blitz 20-03
Reviewed in June 2003, scoring one out of ten.
Okay, so the previous titles are all on PC, which has always been the cheapest to develop for and thus has the most games available. What about consoles and handhelds? NFL Blitz 20-03 proves very vividly that abysmal games know no boundaries. As probably one of the worst games to ever be developed for a Nintendo, we gave it a suitably low score.
"Unfortunately, not only is the resulting product bad, it is so horrendously atrocious that the game's coverboy, Michael Strahan of the New York Giants, must be seething mad that his name is attached to such a turgid pile of reeking fecal matter."
The Sniper 2
Reviewed in April 2004, scoring one out of ten.
As far as PS2 games go, they don't get much worse than The Sniper 2. Devoid of any redeeming qualities, you'll hopefully never have the delight of playing it.
"This isn't a deliberately short review of a game that I obviously hate. This is a full, attention to detail look at what this pile of trash has to offer. Unbelievably poor graphics (surely clipping and entire objects disappearing was a thing of the past?), dire gameplay (of which there is very little, which may be a plus point as well as a down one), shocking acting and absolutely no pull to go back again after the power has been switched off makes The Sniper 2 the worst game I have ever played. Unbelievably poor, shocking and dire."
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