People that know me likely think of me as that ‘quiet awkward guy,’ and generally speaking, I’m pretty even tempered. I’m the type of person who likes to bottle things up and it takes a lot to make me angry. It’s a rare occasion when something will incite me to become visibly angry, well, other than a steadily growing handful of games.

I’m told some people play video games to release aggression - this isn’t the case with me, I don’t play games for any one specific reason. Frankly the idea of releasing aggression through a game is a strange concept for me to fully grasp, I don’t understand where the release actually comes into play. Despite this it’d be a blatant lie to say that I’ve never gotten pissed off playing a game, but it takes a special type of game to incur my wrath. The other thing I’d argue is that the aggression I’m externalizing is solely created by the game, rather than working out the acidic feelings already gestating inside me. Whatever the case might be the results can be ugly.

Recently the exploits of Brutal Legend and Demon’s Souls have joined the ranks of games that piss me off. Despite each of these titles sharing that special quality, each of them possesses their own unique method of pushing my buttons. Brutal Legend does it through a combination of questionable game design and a jolting difficulty spike. Like many players I never completely took to the action/RTS hybrid Stage Battles, specifically because I found it too difficult to effectively manage and deploy troops without a more traditional RTS interface. This was made worse by the brick wall Eddie Riggs slams into at the Sea of Black Tears. Over the course of the entire adventure I hadn’t failed a single Stage Battle on normal difficulty, and now I couldn’t weather the final bum rush of the Tainted Coil. As one of the final bouts of the game it should be hard, but the real point of contention was it was asking me to devise an actual strategy, something I hadn’t needed over the previous thirteen hours of the game.

The other offender, Demon’s Souls, strives on the plight of its player. Most critics have applauded the game for its unflinching difficulty and total disregard for a conventional learning curve. The real appeal of the game is it’s notoriously hard, and there’s a certain mystique that comes along with being a Demon’s Souls player. Don’t get me wrong, I get it, but the unrelenting difficulty disguises the game’s one major flaw: the gameplay isn’t particularly fun. Theoretically the combat and exploration is built around learning the dungeons and the enemies that occupy them, but it boils down to memorization, repetition, trial and error, and an inordinate amount of persistence – all symptoms of a slowly manifesting, festering frustration.

Despite the differing charms found in each of these titles, they’ve each had a number of opportunities to witness me at my most colorful. The most common outburst is often the classic and versatile “What the f***!?” No matter the situation, it’s never an inappropriate response and universally represents any type of possible frustration. Perfect for Tainted Coil onslaughts or dying within inches of your Blood Stain, and thus, failing to recover hours worth of experience. If it isn’t enough – it rarely is – you can always spice up the classic ‘What the f***!?’ with the explanatory ‘That’s f****** bulls***!!’ With this you’ve removed the open-ended question from possible debate and placed the blame squarely on the shoulders of the game, which is exactly where it belongs. Occasionally words alone have failed to convey my disappointments. Depending on the severity and context of the situation, many verbal fits can be accompanied by exiting your seat in a huff and pacing heavily, or with a few vicious hammer fists to the nearest unoccupied cushion.

Both of those games have sent me into a verbal flurry, but it’s important to note that I don’t hate either of them. There are aspects of each that I loathe, but buried beneath those feelings is an understanding. For a game to get under my skin there has to be something worthwhile or likeable about it. If a game sucks, it sucks; I expect to be disappointed. It’s those times when you like a game, or desperately want to like one that are the most potentially infuriating. You’re more than willing to give them every chance in the world to impress you, while allowing them to stoke your madness.

One of my favorite games of all time stands out clearly as one of the most deliriously unforgiving action titles of the past decade. It wouldn’t be a gross overestimate to guess I spent as much time cursing Hotsuma and his accursed Akujiki then I spent actually completing Shinbobi. Featuring some of the most insidious platforming in recent memory, Shinobi was designed to have a punishing old school feel. Bottomless pits, a total disregard for checkpoints, a constantly depleting health meter and a near endless wave of enemies were all par for the course. It was extremely aggravating as every room seemingly pitted you against a larger challenge then the last, but it was this constant uphill battle that kept you motivated. Like Demon’s Souls, Shinobi imposes its will on you early and you have no choice but to learn to play by its rules. What separates the two is their differing pace of progression and combat. Demon’s Souls is a plodding, deliberate and occasionally boring affair, while the other is a fleet footed – but still deliberate – dash to the goal.

Brutal Legend, Demon’s Souls and Shinobi all share something else in common: I keep going back to them. Despite the tantrums and frustration that each has started in me, they’ve all stuck with me. Maybe I put them down for a week, a month, or in Shinobi’s case a few years, but I always go back for more. Maybe I’m a glutton for punishment, but I need these games that dare to get my blood boiling. I need a game that isn’t afraid to piss all over tutorials and conventional accessibility. I need a game that’s willing to get in my face and tell me how it is. Sometimes that’s the only way to make sure I’m listening.